I’m a little bit nervous about exposing this secret and I also don’t want to, like, break his heart. We’re here so I can tell my dad a secret that I’ve been keeping for, like, 16 years.
I’m nervous. I don’t know what kind of secret she could have since she’s four.
I’m really not that nervous. I don’t think he’s going to be that mad.Sometimes it makes more sense not to say something if it means you’re not going to get in trouble.
I guess I’m excited to learn about the secret. I can’t imagine he’d have anything to hide from me.
– So, Dad.
– What’s the one thing that we used to do together when I was a child? Do you remember when you’d ask me, “Oh, do you want to play tennis or golf today?”
– My answer 100% of the time would’ve been tennis because I really, really don’t like golf. And I never liked playing it and I just went because I wanted to have something to do with you that wasn’t me beating you at tennis. And I also think that watching golf is really boring and I don’t understand why you watch it.
– About two months ago I got those parking tickets and you gave me the money and a normal person would’ve mailed it in. And then you called me one day and were like, “You never paid the tickets. I had to pay the late fee and it was about double what the ticket was.” And I told you that “It’s just the city’s fault.” I was like, “I paid the tickets,” kept the money, and I spent it.
– But what did you do with the money?
– 7-11 …
– $400 on Slurpees …
– You do what you gotta do.
– Whoa, like a weight’s been lifted off my shoulders now that you know and I’m probably not going to watch golf with you ever again.
– That’s fine.
– [Interviewer] So, Steven, how surprised were you?
– It got to a point where it became obvious that she wasn’t that interested in it.
– It’s not that big of a deal.
– There were late fees. You could’ve just paid the ticket. You would put the ticket on my credit card anyway.
– I could’ve put it on the credit card and kept the money. That probably would’ve been smarter.
– Why would that be hard for you?
– I don’t know. Because you love it.
– That doesn’t break my heart … Actually heartwarming because at that young age, at four years old, you would do something that you didn’t really like doing because you wanted to spend time together.
– I’m the greatest.
– Now I feel like there’s probably more things that you should be telling me. As opposed to that …
– No, that’s about as bad as it gets.
– See, I thought you would be like, “Oh, really?” I kind of expected you to feel cheated out of a daughter who liked golf.
– Well, we can do that another way.
– Okay. Cool.
– [Interviewer] And how do you feel now that you exposed your supposedly worst secret?
– I feel about the same.
– I still like spending time with you, though.
– I mean, you just got another parking ticket last month. Did you pay it?
– Yeah, I paid it.
– There are other secrets that you don’t know about.
– Oh, really?
– I should actually pay you when you pay the ticket on time.
– So if I paid the ticket on time you’d give me double the money?
– I’ll give you half of the late fee.
– This looks like it worked out better for me that I told him the secret.