The Art of Slowing Down
They say it’s not enough to be busy. The question is, what are we busy about? That is something I‘ve been considering quite a lot recently.
The past few months have taught me a lot about slowing down. Not like I really had a choice, but still. On some days, I feel overwhelmed, thinking I’m not doing enough and at the same time, feeling like everyone else is doing so much more. But is it worth doing other things if it means doing more, even if it’s not really what you want to be doing? I wrote that question down and now I don’t know if it makes sense. Well, hopefully, you get what I mean.
Anyway, the other day I thought it was finally time to do some things I’ve been putting off for a while. I have so many photos piling up and something needs to be done about it. My mom always made albums, so I figured I should start making them, too. I came across some pictures from four years ago, it was the first time I traveled alone halfway across the world. And it’s funny because I felt like I needed to get away from everything to figure everything out. I remember going there for as long as I possibly could. It was the first time I was just with myself and no one else. It was lonely some days. But it’s weird because I think I’d be a totally different person if I didn’t do that.
I think I spent a lot of my young adult life looking for answers and a life outside myself, always chasing, always wanting more, only a couple of years later to find out that the real peace is being content in the everyday stuff, and that the small things that happen every day matter more than the big things that happen every once in a while. So much has changed since then, but in a way, I feel like I’m there again. Taking it day by day. Observing what things actually matter to me and where I would like to go from here.
When you’re an artist, a photographer, a filmmaker, everything we make feels like it has to be amazing to the point where we almost get afraid to make mistakes. And we lose that sense of play we had in the beginning. But I think I found some freedom in slowing down. I want to be able to remember the everyday, trivial things, you know? Not pursuing anything grand, but just living through the small moments that I know I’ll eventually miss over time.
There’s a quote from CS Lewis: “It’s funny how day by day nothing changes, but when you look back, everything is different.” I guess it’s a good reminder that we don’t always have to stick to what we know and we have the choice to change things if we’re not happy with it. If we did it before, then we’ll survive if we do it again.
I guess what I’m trying to say is, all we can do is give ourselves the time we need. The break we need. From people, from work. To figure things out. Maybe to remind ourselves what really matters. Who matters. Or maybe just to slow down, because we’re going a thousand miles an hour and don’t really know where anymore.
