Friends | The New Year’s Resolution Bet
– You know what? I’m gonna go out on a limb and say, no divorces in ’99!
– But your divorce isn’t even final yet.
– Just the one divorce in ’99!
– Yeah, baby!
– You know what, I am gonna be happy this year, I am gonna make myself happy.
– Do you want us to leave the room or?
– Every day, I am gonna do one thing I have never done before. That, my friends, is my New Year’s resolution.
– Ooh! That’s a good one.
– Mine is to pilot a commercial jet.
– That’s a good one too, Pheebs. Now all you have to do is find a plane load of people whose resolution is to plummet to their deaths.
– Maybe your resolution should be not to make fun of your friends, especially the ones who may soon be flying you to Europe for free on their own plane.
– She has a better chance of sprouting wings and flying up your nose than you do of not making fun of us.
– In fact, I’ll bet you 50 bucks you can’t go the whole year without making fun of us. Oh, you know what? Better yet, a week.
– I’ll take that bet, my friend, and you know what? Paying me the 50 bucks can be the new thing you do that day. And it starts right now!
– All right, my New Year’s resolution is to learn how to play guitar.
– Really? How come?
– Well, you know, those special skills I have listed on my resume? I would love it if one of those was true.
– Do you want me to teach you? I’m a great teacher.
– Aw, really? Who have you taught?
– Well, I taught me and I loved me.
– Oh, that’d be great. Yeah, thanks, Pheebs.
– Oh, look. Blair forgot her glasses. And she’s gonna really be needing these to keep an eye on that boyfriend who, from what I hear needs to keep his stapler in his desk drawer if you know what I’m talking about.
– Hey, Rach, maybe your resolution should be to gossip less.
– What, I don’t gossip.
– What, maybe, sometimes I find out things or I hear something and I pass that information on, you know? Kind of like a public service. It doesn’t mean I’m a gossip. I mean, would you call Ted Koppel a gossip?
– Well, if Ted Koppel talked about his coworkers’ botched boob jobs, yeah, I would.
– Well, they were like this!
– I just asked that girl out.
– Nice.
– Nice, yeah. Is that part of your resolution, your new thing for today?
– Yes, it is. See?
– Elizabeth… Hornswoggle?
– That’s right. Elizabeth Hornswoggle.
– Horn… Swoggle.
– You okay, Chandler? Is there something funny about that name?
– No, no. I just think that maybe I’ve heard it somewhere before.
– Oh, really? Where? Somewhere funny, I’ll bet.
– Hi, Pheebs!
– Ah, guess what? I have a date with Elizabeth Hornswoggle.
– Hornswoggle? Ooh, this must be killing you.
– All right, see you later.
– See ya. All right, Pheebs. I am ready for my first lesson.
– Okay. Oh no, no, you don’t touch the guitar. No, no, first, you learn here. Then you learn here.
– Okay. Lesson one, chords. Now, I don’t know the actual names of the chords… But I made up names for the way my hand looks while I’m doing them. So, then, this is bear claw, okay, turkey leg, and old lady.
– What an interesting approach to guitar instruction. You know, some might find it amusing. I myself find it regular.
